I love shopping. I sometimes wish I didn’t 😂 but I love finding a bargain and falling in love with a new outfit, or a new pair of shoes.

I was shopping yesterday with my baby sister and tbh, I was infuriated! Every shop, my size of clothing was different. We were in a specific shop that is known for cheap, but popular clothing. I’m browsing the aisles and decide to look for a pair of jeans. Now i’ve worked my butt off to drop 2 dress sizes but I came across a pair of jeans that were bigger than my size..but that would fit on my ankle. I held them up to my very slim sister, and even she would have struggled to wear them!

We fixate so much on clothing sizes and i’m now over it. Don’t do it!

Shops should be wanting people to feel good about themselves so they buy more, not make them feel like they are 3 sizes bigger than they actually are. Sort it out retailers!

So my point is this.

If you see an outfit you want, don’t worry if it’s your usual size or whether you have to buy bigger. Wear it. Love it. Cut off the size label and just embrace the fact you are wonderful, and sexy and look amazing!

We only get one life. Don’t frett about the small stuff.

From now on, i’m not going to bother whether I buy a 14, a 16 or an 18. If it feels good and I look good, then that’s the overall goal.

Be kind to yourself. You deserve the best.

Much love x

All day i’ve been thinking about submerging into a hot bubble bath. Why will this remain just a thought? Let me tell you….😘

For me? I always LOVE the idea of a bubble bath but then I don’t actually find it a relaxing experience.

I run the water, pour in my favourite bubbles, watch it rise and then it’s time to get in.. that’s when the magic stops.

I do the “hot water bob” as I like to call it, of trying to get my backside used to the water so I bob up and down a bit 🤔🙄😂

Right, i’m in…let the sensation take over my body…oh no wait….i’m getting a creak in my neck….oh god what is that?…oh it’s just my stomach floating above the bubbles…..great 😒

Oh, and now my boobs are joining in by pretending they are buoys floating in the sea. It’s the one time they are perky 👍😂

Oh God I hate a bath.

Staring at my body magnified…maybe if I lift a knee out and try to be all sexy. Oh. No. Wait. Now I can see the fine hairs on my thigh that I haven’t shaved..and I can see my full nakedness reflecting back at me in the taps.

Ok Eileen, just reeelllaaxxx, lie back. Imagine you are in the see with the waves lapping up over you….such a realistic sound, nope it’s just the bath water slapping against my stomach, making the same noise my thighs do when they clap together 👏👏

There WAS actually one time where I thought, ok. I’m really sore. I’m going to have a bath and make sure I relax. I’ll just put some hair removing cream on first (everywhere I might add)

Brilliant, kill two birds and all that….

Nope. I’m now sitting in the bath surrounded by my own body hair, just floating on the surface in a scum but continue to sit in it for at least 10 mins so as not to waste the water. 🙈😭

Why? Why is having a bath so stressful?

My Mum loves having a bath! I don’t understand it.

I had a water birth, which I was pressured into by the midwives so I got in just to shut them up, but it was actually bliss. Even though I was stark naked, boobs afloating, stretch marks from head to toe, it was wonderful. It was the one time I enjoyed being in the water without caring…like a sumo-wrestler Lilo. Just lying there whilst the midwife discreetly scooped out little bits of 💩. I didn’t have a care in the world 😍

Tonight, after finishing a nightshift and being awake for 36 hours, I will be relaxing by sprawling on the couch, full of the chinese I ordered because I didn’t have the energy to cook, watching some trashy T.V before going upstairs and collapsing into bed in only my pants because putting pj’s on is too much effort.

That my friends, is relaxing BusysingleMum style and i’m ok with that. 😂

I envy those of you who like a bath, ipad and wine in hand. Enjoy it. Relax.

We are all blimmin’ exhausted and deserve the best relaxation we can get. I’m just gutted that what works for you, makes me feel like a beached dolphin flapping around on the sand. 😂😂

Much love xx

From a keen to bathe, completely exhausted Mum. ❤

Overthinking is such a nuisance. It really is.

My mind can be in constant overdrive and then no productive thoughts actually happen. Let me give you an example from yesterday.

“Hmm…(looking in the freezer)..what should we have for dinner?”

Then I hear a train and look at it out of the window…

“Oh, look! A train…hmm, those tracks must be really old now”

Tracks-naturally make me think of rollercoasters because my inner child enjoys them more than trains….obvs.

“MAN I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS“.

“I haven’t been on one for years”.

“Oh, wait a minute….someone lost a leg on a rollercoaster..what if I did? What if I died having fun on a rollercoaster?”

What would happen to Martha?

I wonder what songs they would play at my funeral…would they know what songs to play?

“Hmm…I need to make a WILL”  🙈😂

Now within the space of about 2 minutes I had gone from looking in the freezer to planning my funeral. What is actually wrong with me? 😂

It is also detrimental to daily activities. For me anyway.

As i’ve said before i’m not good at doing new things, especially on my own and i’m not scared to admit that even at 31 I still like my Mum to come with me 😂

Today though, I didn’t overthink…… well not as much.

I got up, got dressed (without standing analysing what I was wearing and changing my outfit 5 times,) I went for lunch and then decided to take Martha to the circus. That may seem like a normal thing for most but for me, that was huge. If I don’t know what to do somewhere then I panic or usually just avoid it. But no, we walked down to the circus, picked up our tickets and found our seats. Oh and by the way- it was awesome- and nothing bad happened because I had to make eye-contact with a circus employee 🙄🙈😂 go figure.

I’m the one in a crowd of people who would stand at the back and not make eye-contact with anyone. Not today though. I was the leader (more so because Martha is 4 and if she was in charge I would have been in there doing acrobatics) and I took charge of my own thoughts and decided from the moment I got up that I wasn’t going to overthink things and it worked.

Now tomorrow..that’s a whole other story and God only knows what my brain will be doing then but, well, for today at least. I’m content. I’m proud of myself and i’m going to get lost in a t.v drama and try my HARDEST to shut my brain off for a while.

Night night brain…you’ve done well today ❤

Much love  xx

I was fortunate enough to get to a concert last night and it was amazing!

80’s tunes back to back, being sung by some seriously talented people. Two of which, I am lucky to call my friends.

What a night it was. There was such a buzz in the theatre and folk were on their feet from the start.

It’s funny really, usually with things like this I tend to just sit for fear of looking like a plonker. NOT last night though!

Despite having the worst sore head i’ve had in a long time (thanks Thunder Storm) 🙄 and only having a few drinks, I was strutting my stuff in my seat and then IN THE AILSE!!😂🙈

For once I didn’t care. I wasn’t the only one and I was just enjoying the moment which I don’t often do.

Instead I usually worry about making a fool of myself or worrying about what other people think…perhaps this is a new me? 🤔

I normally over- analyse everything, from what i’m wearing to what my make-up looks like. For instance, yesterday I put a nose ring in for the first time and it was a bit big. I would usually over think it and freak out but last night I just thought “oh well, it’s in now”😂. Such minor things really make giant leaps in day to day living.

Last night was enlightening for me. I was free from worry, and I can’t remember the last time that has happened. Change is afoot I feel.

So to anyone who is anxious, stressed, worrys about every little thing…..it will get better, I promise.

One small change can have a big impact.

You will get there.

You will have good days and bad days, and on the good days, just embrace it and enjoy every moment.

We are only here once so if you want to dance in the ailse of a theatre, if you want to take your bra off and throw it onstage ( I didn’t do that 😂) then flippin’ well just do it.

Much love xxx

At the end of a long working day, trying to catch up on family time, making dinners, catching up on house work, it’s easy to wonder if juggling everthing is worth it.

The stress we can go through at work, at home can just be……bleugh!

I had time to reflect at work today during my appraisal. Work has been hard. As with every job, paperwork piles up, understaffing puts a great pressure on things and it can be easy to want to lock yourself away and have a cry (which has happened) or just throw in the towel and go home to bed.

I got asked if I enjoy being a Social Care Officer and I couldn’t lie…..I do.

I love helping people. It makes me feel good. Despite all the obstacles and challenges we face day to day

Maybe that’s egotistical….I don’t know. 🙈

I think anybody who is involved in the care of another person, whether paid or not is an absolute unsung hero.

I also got asked if I leave feeling fulfilled. Again, I had to answer honestly and say “no”. I don’t leave my work at the door, I always worry i’ve not done enough or i’ve forgotten to do something-again it’s something we all feel and comes with the territory.

I’m making a conscious effort to try to not get bogged down by the stresses and just enjoy my work as long as I can. I’m not perfect and I make plenty of mistakes but I’m passionate that we should all treat others as we want to be treated. I’m lucky that I work with a great bunch of people that I can have great banter with. 😁

To get enjoyment from your work, you have to enjoy what you do. If you don’t, what are you doing it for? Work should be a passion and a dedication and the good days should outweigh the bad.

If you’re not happy, only YOU can change it. Find your passion, find what you’re good at and go and nail it!

Do I think i’ll be in my job forever? Probably not as it’s so physical and I already feel like a 90 year old when I stand up 😂 but who knows.

Life is too short. Do what makes you happy. Don’t let the petty things become massive, brush off the haters and do what you do best with every fibre of your being. You’ve got this. 👊😘

Much love xxx

P.s. special shout out to Kirsty. My best friend. A woman who has studied and worked so hard to be a neo-natal nurse. She knew what she wanted and she went for it. So proud of you 😘

Something magical happened tonight……❤ 

I was back, in a hall singing my wee heart out with my fellow thespians for the Angus Minstrels final show. My face hurts from smiling so much. I have done one Musical since having Martha and the travelling and juggling everything and the Mum Guilt took it’s toll.  I didn’t enjoy it as I should…although I loved the actual week of the show and all the dancing sorted my pelvic floor. (I haven’t coughed and wet myself since-bonus!) Evert other singing event I have done has just been one or two nights with a short rehearsal period. Each time, my nerves were getting worse and my confidence getting lower.

I just felt so at home tonight. Surrounded by people who have known me since I was an eager wee kid with a big dream. I never really went out underage drinking or causing chaos. I went to 2 or 3 rehearsals a week for most of the year and had a second family (some of whom taught me how NOT to behave at an aftershow party 😂. These people have seen me at my best, and seen me at my worst. They have seen me rise and fall with the rollercoaster that has been the past few years and they have been patient, and kind, and inclusive. They have seen my laugh until I cry and also cry in the middle of a song when the emotion just gets too much.

Performing was my life and becoming a Mum changed that, but I didn’t mind. What I forgot though was that rehearsing was my comfort, my socialisation and without it, I suppose I went through a bit of a grieving process. Grieving for the person I used to be, grieving for my friends and “show life”.

Becoming a parent brings great change. It’s easy to say, “Yeh i’ll still do this” or “Yeh i’ll still do that”, but there is a tiny, poop covered person that is relying on you for everything. A family has to change their priorities even if it means giving up a hobby for a while. I knew that shows, and concerts would always be there, but Martha was only going to be tiny for such a short time and I wanted to savour every laugh, every cry, every bath time, every projectile vomit 🙈

With time at home came more anxiety, more frustration, more reluctance to do anything. Afterall, the less you do something, the harder it becomes.

Tonight though, I felt like the Eileen from 15 years ago when I enjoyed every minute of every rehearsal and would get home with sore sides from laughing with my friends. I can’t wait for next week. 😁

Working shifts is a nightmare for any kind of hobby, let alone trying to sort everything else, but i’m making it a priority this year. For my own sanity.

So go on, take some time for you. Find something that makes our face hurt with smiling, something that completes you….and DO IT! 

Much Love. Xx

It’s never something i’ve done to be honest, living in the moment. I always look ahead. Sometimes with excitement, sometimes with dread. I focus 40 years in the future and panic about the “What If”.

When I moved a month ago, into my own little house I was trying to make a conscious effort to live more in the moment, enjoying the here and now and trying not to worry about what is going to happen.

Well….that may have backfired slightly as I’ve spent 2 hours as a sweaty, bingo-winged blur ransacking the house looking for my passport (which expired in 2009-I know) and also for my car tax reminder ( which after a few days of internal worry, was found in my jacket pocket) I’ve known i’ve needed both things and they have been on my imaginery to do list all month…but I just forget 😭

Oh, I also forgot to change my pay details at work so now my wages are going to get paid in the account that i’m not part of anymore. Luckily, Big Al still uses the account and will sort it 😀

HUGE praise and respect to everyone who juggles a busy life! I was never good at juggling unfortunately 🙄😂

I think I took relaxing and living in the moment a bit too far this time and need to find a balance.

I now realise just how much stuff i’ve yet to sort and unpack but hey, now that i’ve found both things I need surely I can enjoy the moment just one final time? Just until I finish my glass of wine? Awesome!

Much love, from an exhausted, working single Mum who can’t blame anyone but herself. 😁

P.S. I have just realised that I look half wasted and that I have an abnormally giant hand. I have only had ONE glass and my hand is regular sized in real life 😂. Honest!