We all do it. We look at other peoples lives and sometimes without even realising, we judge. I do it. You do it. It’s part of human nature.

I often wish I was a fly on the wall, to see the unseen and to the hear all of the opinions and thoughts people have. Mostly because it fascinates me.

It’s easy to judge peoples lives, relationships, families and to assume that we know everything. It just isn’t really worth it though.

A persons business is their own ( unless like me you put everything in a blog ) 😂

Especially nowadays when we put every aspect of our lives on social media from where we are, who we are with to what we had for tea. Maybe we all seek some sort of validation? I don’t know. But there is nothing wrong with that. It’s the way civilisation has developed and there is no point in trying to go against it. Just embrace it.

With new relationships especially, people can be quick to judge. ” oh I never pictured them together”. “Oh they seem to be moving quickly” ” I wouldn’t have done that” etc etc it’s all just wasted energy.

What matters the most about someones life, is that they are happy. There are no rules, no time frames, what works for one won’t always work for another. All we can do is be honest.

My current relationship has developed quickly. I’m not sorry about that. When “normally”, dating someone means maybe seeing them a few times a month, there has actually only been a few days that we haven’t seen each other because we make the time and effort. There are no secrets, no skeletons in the closet to take us by surprise. We are honest about past failings and where we went wrong.

It’s refreshing. Now I must admit that looking in on a relationship like mine a year or two ago, I would have been the first to think “oh that’s moving quite fast” but not now. Now when I see someones relationship go from strength to strength, i’m just glad that they are happy. I’m glad that they have found their person. No judgement.

None of us know how long we have with someone. So why not just embrace it. Happiness should be treasured, not criticised. We all do what we think is best for us, our children and anyone we care about.

I’m thankful that those around me see the happiness in me, because it’s been a long time coming.

Don’t judge. Don’t hate. Don’t be bitter.

Find your happiness and grab onto it for dear life.

Be kind. It’s simple ❤

Online dating is a jungle. I’ve never blogged about the fact that I had signed up to online dating but i’d never hidden it from those close to me. It was something I always vowed I would never do, but in a solely female work environment and in a time when everyone is glued to their phones on a night out instead of scoping out the room for a mate, I felt it was worth a shot.

I’ve had many great, fun dates and on the whole no crazy disaster stories to tell. I’ve met some lovely guys and sometimes they are great but the spark or chemistry just hasn’t been there and that’s fine because that’s what it’s all about. It’s better to be honest and frank about that after a first date, than leading someone down a misleading path.

There have been a few with great potential, a few dates and i’ve started to let my guard down. I never hide the fact that i’m an old romantic and can get over excited. 🤷‍♀️😂

There has been a running pattern that i’ve noticed recently though…..being told one thing only for them to do the opposite. The compliments, the messages, the video calls for hours at a time…even the person with the hardest of hearts would start to soften. You WANT to believe these things. You WANT to believe that there is a happily ever after out there and you open yourself up knowing there is a risk. You make yourself vulnerable. It’s an absolute whirlwind.

Each time there is heartbreak and disappointment, the gate over your heart starts to rust shut even tighter and the triple- lock padlock seals into place.

That is my life now. I question myself everyday anyway but when something like this happens, you start to wonder not how, but IF you will ever be able to trust anyone again.

Someone who gave you butterflies. Someone who seen your soul. Someone who you discussed a future with, who you could SEE a future with then breaks your heart….and tells you over a message 🙄 Someone who never gave mixed messages and was frank and honest….until now.

I’ve realised that 1. I’m an ugly crier 😭🙈😂 and 2. That even if I meet the right person in the future, I won’t believe that they are because I will be waiting for the red flags and the back- tracking( or them running back to their ex 🙄) so will shut them out even if it’s unintentionally. I will become self- destructive to my own future.

Words are cheap. It’s easy to talk the talk but for the love of God, just be honest. Don’t tell someone you are falling for them and see a future if you don’t. It’s dangerous.

I don’t really know where I go from here. Is it karma for me ending my marriage? Maybe. If so, then i’ll take it on the chin. Will I be 80 and alone living with 35 cats? As dramatic as it seems just now, it seems like the safest bet. I’ve never been a gambler and i’m fed up with betting my heart and losing it.

I need to clarify that this is not an “I hate men” blog. Men are great! I love men! But I definitely don’t trust my own judgement anymore when it comes to picking one. So i’m not going to anymore.

On the plus side, I will save some money on bikini waxes and I can grow my leg hair out so I won’t need to wear tights 😂

Just think. Think about how your words and actions can affect a person. Don’t try to rescue them if you aren’t going to keep them. ❤

Much love…..from an ugly crying, over emotional busyworkingmum ❤❤

Blogging has been a huge help to me. Like keeping a journal, i can type out my verbal vomit and release it from my mind. If I can help someone too? Even better.

Recently, i’ve felt a bit all over the place and I suppose, downtrodden. The hum-drum of daily living, working and housework ( which never seems to make the place look any better 🙈) have all just been constant chore.

It’s no secret in my family that i’m completely jinxed when it comes to things breaking or going wrong.😂 Whether it’s something as simple as my wardrobe rail breaking and my clothes having to lie on the floor for a week, small things can be enough to put me into a spin. I sometimes feel like i’m juggling so many balls in the air that it’s just a matter of time before they all come crashing down.

I’m naturally a pessamist. It’s a self-protection thing that I found has protected me from disappointment. Healthy? No….and i’m working on it.

I’m really trying this year to focus on the positive things and the positive people who have come into my life, but it can be really challenging. I’m very fortunate to have people who can pick me up when i’m down. ❤

I’m focusing on what I want out of life and striving to get there. Everyday I try to visualise it. You should too. If today like me, you are feeling run down, sad, worried even if there doesn’t have to be a reason. Know that it will pass. Focus on the end goal, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get there so quickly. Baby steps. Take your time. Breathe. If you can’t face washing a 6th load of dishes…just leave them. Get the chocolate out of the cupboard, have a cry and stick on Netflix.

As my Granny always says “What’s for you will not go past you”. Do I believe you, Granny? I’m not so sure….but I WANT to believe you and that’s what matters.

We need to make decisions about WHAT we WANT in life. WHO we want in our lives and find a way to make it happen.

Here is to finding a future, even through the exhausted fog. And here is to blogging. Lordy it’s good 😁😁

Much Love xxx