Thankful.

I’ve started writing a blog so many times recently, but I haven’t finished it because they have mainly been about fear, anxiety and negativity. There has been so much of that with everything going on that I didn’t want to add to it.

Today though….today was different. Why? Well because it’s my birthday πŸ™‚

A day that’s usually just like any other but I knew this one would be different being a “lockdown” birthday. Instead of being negative and worried, i’ve been focusing on the good things.

My beautiful, loving 5 year old daughter who, despite her whole life being so different right now was still so excited about giving me my present this morning. Who has adapted so well to all the changes. Who has put up with me on days when i’m really struggling. I am so thankful for her.

My family. I’m not ashamed to admit that even as a fully fledged adult myself I still love going to my mums for a birthday tea 😍 This year was different but with her having a huuuuuuuuge garden, we were still able to go an visit whilst keeping our distance. I am thankful.

Work. Yes, the thought of having my alarm set for 5.30am tomorrow for a an early shift and the constant worry of either taking the virus in, or bringing it out is always at the forefront of my mind. I am still able to work and i’m thankful for that. ❀

My Friends. Goodness me am I lucky. I have taken for granted going for lunches and coffees with them all. Not anymore. Texting, facetiming and interaction on social media can sometimes seem a bit…well…..second nature. Liking a post, sharing a post is sometimes done automatically without actually paying full attention. How thankful I am for all forms of social media at the moment. How thankful I am for the messages, calls and interactions that help to remind me that i’m thought about and that we are all going through this together.

For not sweating the small stuff. As a serial over thinker, it can be the “small stuff” that stresses me the most. Finding time to make appointments to go to the beauty salon for that all important but painful “tidy up”. Having to go to the supermarket AGAIN because i’ve forgotten the one thing I went in for. I’m ok with those things just now. I’m ok that my bikini line is so out of control, there isn’t even a line there anymore πŸ™ˆπŸ˜‚πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ I’m ok if I forget something from the shop….i’ll just use up what I have in. πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ It’s forcing me to be a bit more creative ( although not with the bikini jungle…other than put in a pigtail or take some hedge shears to it I don’t really know what else to try) πŸ˜‚ but it’s ok because nobody sees it anyway. See? Look at me maturing and looking at the silver lining. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Health. I am so so thankful that I still have my health and that this virus hasn’t taken hold of anyone close to me. I may have a kitten any time Martha clears her throat and ram a thermometer in her ear, and I may worry constantly day in and day out like everybody else but that’s human nature in times like these. I try not to let it overwhelm me. I’ve had my wobbles and my nights of crying uncontrolably but not today. Today was good.

That’s right. Today was good. I didn’t worry about the virus, or the fact that my health eating was going out of the window for a day. I ate carbs and it was good πŸ™‚ I spent the day surrounded by the people who mean the most to me in the whole world. Not physically, but they were there all the same

So as I write this, glass of wine in hand, pubic hair down to my knees and bloated from the complex carbohydrates that are ruining my digestive system πŸ™ˆπŸ˜‚ I am thankful. I am happy. I am smiling. What is normally a mediocre day has been a really special one. I’ve really felt the love and I will be paying it forward

Be safe, be kind, be present. Take one day at a time and know that tomorrow should be better. We might not know when this will end, but it will.

Have I told you you’re amazing? Well you are! And don’t bloomin’ forget it. ❀

Much love. Xx

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