Well…..(sigh)….I could have written screeds about the second lockdown last night, but I didn’t want to put a more negative spin on what was already a worrying time.
So I waited. But the truth is, I WAS feeling negative. I had the same knot in my stomach that I had back in March. The same frog in my throat and the same thoughts swirling around in my head. All the “what if’s”.
The past wee while I had been feeling more optimistic about it all, especially after having the first dose of my vaccine….and then yesterday was like getting kicked in the guts again.
We were having a lovely time at the beach when I heard and the worries crept back in.
I don’t want to lose her.
I don’t want her to lose me. I’ve always had a huge fear of dying alone.
However, being on “Mum mode” meant I kept it all in so that she didn’t worry. I explained about lockdown again and how there would be no school for a while and no visits to Granny and Grandads. She takes it all in her stride. ❤
When she was tucked up safely in bed I let it out. I had a wee cry and then pulled myself together. I didn’t want to waken up this morning with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
All we can do is follow the guidance, do our very best to keep safe, keep in touch with each other and try to home school as best we can 🙄
I know it WILL all come good, but I just don’t know when and I don’t want to feel sad and negative the whole time.
So by all means have a wobble. It’s natural to worry, to panic, to overthink…….but we don’t want to let it control every day.
Leave yesterday where it was. Try not to worry about tomorrow.
Focus on today.
One day at a time.
I’m sending everyone the biggest of hugs.
What a world. (Sigh)
Much Love. Xxx