letitgo

Trust your Gut..❤..

Posted on by BusyMum

It’s been a strange old year, hasn’t it?

As i’m sitting planning Christmas gifts ( I know it’s only October but needs must) i’ve realised how quick this year has gone and how for the most part, i’ve forgotten to live it.

For the past 12 months i’ve been unable to trust myself, trust my gut and so decided the best option was to never put myself in a position where I had to. I have been in a safe place. I built a wall. Nobody was allowed in……so in turn, it meant nobody could scale the wall and leave me a ruin 💁‍♀️

The saying goes “when something seems too good to be true, it usually is“. Yes, it might seem quite a negative dismissive outlook to have but i’m realising more and more that there can be a lot of truth behind it.

More than once in my life my gut has told me that things weren’t right. I however, chose not to listen. I allowed my worries to be pushed down by others and believe what they were telling me instead. I’ve always wanted to believe in people, see the good in them and invest my heart and soul. When they look me in the eye and tell me they feel a certain way, or that things will get better, why shouldn’t I believe that? Why shouldn’t I trust someone? Whereas actually, I should trust myself and my feeling of unease.

It’s crazy that it has taken me so long to realise that my Gut was never the problem. This whole year i’ve been afraid to live, love or take chances because I couldn’t trust my own instincts. I’ve missed so many opportunities. BUT……

Trusting and believing in people isn’t a bad thing. It can be wonderful and bring so much joy. I guess though, it’s also a risk. Life needs a bit of risk from time to time though, right? 😉😁

So, if like me you have walls up, if you’ve been hurt, if you’ve wasted time hating yourself rather than trusting yourself remember it won’t last forever.

Things will get better ❤

Much Love xxx

Hang on to your seatbelts……it’s going to get mushy. 🥰

Posted on by BusyMum

You’re six. Six whole years of loving you, and even better than that, six whole years of you loving me.

It’s gone in the blink of an eye. I remember bringing you home from the hospital. A little 7lb 11oz bundle. Even when you had me up most of the night screaming bloody murder, my heart was so full. I can’t deny that by the 6th week of you screaming, the novely was wearing off 🙄🤣 but then you looked up at me with a beaming smile and I forgave you 😁❤

Now, i’m going to tell you a little secret because if my plan goes well, you’ll be reading this when you’re alot older and possibly going through a phase of hating me….(I know right? Impossible because i’m such a delight)

But anyway….the secret is…………………..

I love you. But hang on…there’s more.

6 years ago I gave you life but you also gave ME life. You honestly have no idea. I’m useless when you’re not around ( but don’t tell anyone) 🤫

Because of you, for the past six years I have had a reason to get out of bed every morning( even if I don’t want to) . I have a reason to cook. A reason to look after myself. A reason for breathing.

❤

Even at six, you have the ability to know when I need a hug, need a laugh or just need to rest. You’re just so flipping amazing. Don’t get me wrong though…you drive me absolutely crazy with your need to correct me all the time ( even when i’m right) and the way you forget that i’m actually the parent 🙄

I hope when you’re reading this you look back and remember that your childhood was a happy one. A safe one and a loved one.

Happy Birthday, Darling girl.

Mummy xxx

Leave yesterday where it was…

Posted on by BusyMum

Well…..(sigh)….I could have written screeds about the second lockdown last night, but I didn’t want to put a more negative spin on what was already a worrying time.

So I waited. But the truth is, I WAS feeling negative. I had the same knot in my stomach that I had back in March. The same frog in my throat and the same thoughts swirling around in my head. All the “what if’s”.

The past wee while I had been feeling more optimistic about it all, especially after having the first dose of my vaccine….and then yesterday was like getting kicked in the guts again.

We were having a lovely time at the beach when I heard and the worries crept back in.

I don’t want to lose her.

I don’t want her to lose me. I’ve always had a huge fear of dying alone.

However, being on “Mum mode” meant I kept it all in so that she didn’t worry. I explained about lockdown again and how there would be no school for a while and no visits to Granny and Grandads. She takes it all in her stride. ❤

When she was tucked up safely in bed I let it out. I had a wee cry and then pulled myself together. I didn’t want to waken up this morning with the weight of the world on my shoulders.

All we can do is follow the guidance, do our very best to keep safe, keep in touch with each other and try to home school as best we can 🙄

I know it WILL all come good, but I just don’t know when and I don’t want to feel sad and negative the whole time.

So by all means have a wobble. It’s natural to worry, to panic, to overthink…….but we don’t want to let it control every day.

Leave yesterday where it was. Try not to worry about tomorrow.

Focus on today.

One day at a time.

I’m sending everyone the biggest of hugs.

What a world. (Sigh)

Much Love. Xxx

Let it go…

Posted on by BusyMum

There are times when we are trapped in our own heads, fixating on the “what if’s” and the “why me’s”.

Driving ourselves crazy about things we cannot change.

For the past few weeks, i’ve been prisoner to my own thoughts, pondering about where things went wrong and why. Why I suddenly have to face a different future to the one I was expecting to have. I can’t lie. It’s not been easy to come to terms with. But I have.

Today, I had to let it go. I had to realise that I have to get out of my own head, reflect and move on.

I let go of any hurt, anger, confusion…and i’ve accepted that maybe……..just maybe, it’s happened for a reason yet to reveal itself.

We can’t live our lives to the fullest, if we are stuck on the things we can’t change. We might never have the answers we need. We might never understand, but we also might never get any kind of peace unless we let it go.

Always be you.

Always be authentic.

Always be kind.

If we do those things, the right people will want to surround us, be part of our lives, and help us to live the life we deserve to have.

Don’t hate.

Don’t dwell too much.

Don’t doubt how amazing you are.

Don’t focus on what you can’t change.

Just…..let it go…🥰

It won’t be easy. It will take time. But you WILL feel better. You will feel lighter and you will be stronger than ever before.

Much Love xxx