I want to ask you a question. When was the last time you gave someone a compliment? Probably recently, right?
We are getting better at bigging each other up. ❤
Now let me ask you another question. When was the last time you gave yourself a compliment?
It’s harder to answer isn’t it?
I then asked myself a question. When was the last time I gave myself a compliment?
The answer is, I don’t know.
When was the last time I was kind to myself? I don’t know.
I then asked myself how many times this year I felt truly happy with how I looked and felt truly content in my own skin, not just a fleeting hour or two but a whole day……the answer?
One day out of this whole year.
It was only then that it hit me. I need to do something NOW!
I love giving compliments to people because I know what a difference it can make to someone, but I also have to start giving them to myself. Why is it so difficult?
The horrendous things I say to myself on a daily basis has to stop because I wouldn’t even say them to my worst enemy. The low opinion I have about myself has held me back so much. The things I wanted to pursue I didn’t because I believed I wasn’t thin enough, wasn’t pretty enough. Missing out on the enjoyment of social events because i’m too busy sitting worrying about how I look. For years I wouldn’t go to the bar to order a drink and wouldn’t go to a public toilet if I had to walk past people. Saying it out loud, it sounds ridiculous…..but I know i’m not the only one.
Now in reality, it didn’t just happen. There have been moments in my life when other people have made me feel worthless. I’m sure it’s happened to you too?
And when the people who are supposed to love you the most say things like ” i’d find you more attractive if you were slimmer” it hurts like a dagger through the heart.
In reality though comments like that are just fuel on an already blazing fire. They don’t matter.
I then thought about how, out of the 33 years of my life i’ve felt like this for about 20.
20 years! 2 decades of self-loathing and it’s exhausting.
I always thought that “if I just drop another dress size” everything would miraculously get fixed. But in reality? Even at 9st in weight, the same insecurities, the same anxieties were there. It actually has nothing to do with how much I weigh. It has to do with how I feel about myself.
It was quite a freeing moment.
I’ll no longer have to hate myself for days because I eat a slice of bread, i’ll no longer have to feel like i’m not good enough to be in a room with other people.
I’ll no longer have to base my own happiness on what clothes size I am, or whether i’m in a relationship. I can validate myself. Every time I give someone a compliment, i’m going to give myself two.
Imagine how powerful that will be!
Is it going to be a “quick fix?” No. Is it going to take a long time? Yes. But I refuse to spend another year of my life, surviving and not living.
Now, this post isn’t for attention or compliments, i’m writing it because I KNOW i’m not alone in the way I feel. Seeing how some people are when they receive a compliment proves that they aren’t giving one to themselves. And we ALL should be. I don’t want anyone to feel the way I feel, but I know they do.
So let’s do it together. Let’s champion each other as we always do but also champion ourselves. Let’s start walking into a room looking up instead of looking at the floor. Let’s wear the tight clothes, regardless of what size we are. Let’s have confidence in our own abilites and let’s nail this thing we call LIFE. They say it’s for living afterall.
And I intend to start. Not tomorrow, not in the New Year, but now. Are you going to join me?
Much love. Xxx