I FORCED myself to get out of bed today.
I FORCED myself to clean the bathroom.
I FORCED myself to play Anna and Elsa with Martha when really all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry.
I FORCED myself to strip the beds and launder them.
Some days are just harder than others. Not just for me, but for you too i’m sure.
The days when you feel like time is going so slowly.
The days when you feel like nothing is right and there doesn’t even have to be a reason.
The days when you are lying wide awake at 1am because your mind is just swirling around and around.
The days when you just want to be alone, but also hate being alone.
I apologised to Martha today. She was doing absolutely nothing wrong. She was being 4. She was being excitable. She was being her most amazing self.
I, on the other hand was tired, and grumpy and impatient. I had the beds to strip and the bathroom to clean and the washing up to do. I had to drag her around the shop whilst I was deciding on paint for the hallway.
But rather than being difficult and moany like she would have had every right to do, she looked up at me from the shopping trolley and said “Mummy, I just love your face”. ❤
Despite everything, even on the days when I feel like all I do is shout, she loves my face. On the days when i’m sad or hurting, she loves my face.
On the days when I’m disappointed that my plans have fallen through. She loves my face.
There is no judgement, no holding grudges, she just “loves my face”.
So remember, it doesn’t matter if you sometimes feel like you’ve failed. If like me, you’ve gone to bed and forgotten to put the bedding back on so are sleeping on a bare mattress with a bare quilt 🙄😂
If you’ve not managed to tick off any boxes from your To-Do list.
If you’re feeling disappointed, frustrated, stressed, depressed…..it really is OK.
We are human.
We can plaster a smile on our faces, hide our struggles and pains with humour, we can feel like lying in a dark room for a week.
We can laugh,
We can cry,
We can shout,
We can fail because at the end of the hardest days, there will always be someone who “loves your face” ❤
Don’t ever feel alone.
Much love xxx