Starting Over….And it’s my choice.

I think most of us want the “Happily Ever After” that we see in films. You want to meet that one person, get married, start a family, and live happily ever after. It does happen. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.

I didn’t plan on being 31 and almost twice divorced. I don’t think anybody willingly get’s married thinking that it won’t last. Marriage takes work…but why should it have to be SO hard? When is it ok to say enough is enough?  Just recently, I was viewing a house and explaining to the neighbour ( who had barged her way in during the viewing I might add) that the house was for Me and my daughter as I had separated. I’m then hit with ” you know, in my day divorce didn’t happen and folk just had to work at it”.

I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs ” I TRIED! I REALLY REALLY TRIED!”. Instead, I gradually changed the subject and left the viewing feeling A. Super annoyed that this woman just appeared from next door and B. Really frustrated that there is always a stigma.

A lot has changed in the last 6 months. Ending my marriage, breaking up a family unit, selling my dream home and setting up as a single parent. An “Independent Woman”. I’ve been living in my own place for a month now and I can’t deny I feel a sense of peace, of calm but also of pure terror…..i’m trying to live each day as it comes now as apposed to worrying about everything. I’m trying to unleash an inner confidence and I think this blog will be my therapy.

What will tomorrow bring I wonder?..

 

5 comments

  1. Isabella Malone · Jun 19, 2019

    We’re not all like that Eileen, and nobody who is important in your life thinks you didn’t give it your best shot. The opinions of those who don’t matter in your life aren’t important so just keep your focus on getting with your life and bringing Martha up to be as strong as you are. Get back to the lovely, happy, fun person I remember x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Samantha pender · Jun 19, 2019

    Well written hunny you have a long and beautiful future ahead of you and Martha 😉 you got this lass your doing an amazing job
    live, love and be happy at whatever the future holds xxx

    Like

  3. Betty Muldoon · Jun 19, 2019

    You will get through this Eileen it just takes time.as

    Liked by 1 person

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